Private: what happens after Paradise Lost?
by ssnirvanafan
Summary: Okay so this is my version of what might happen in SUSPICION. It's the first story I've done, so I have no clue if I'm good at this or not. Any and all comments/reviews excepted and wanted! I'll add more chapters if I get good feedback, thanks 4 readin!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 ( final thoughts)  
It was soo dark, cold, and heavy down under the water. Salt water filled my lungs, and my dress that seemed so weightless before, was now keeping me from being able to come to the surface. My whole body ached from trying with all my might to swim, to keep my head above water, and trying to scream for it was no use, every time I opened my mouth water rushed in, every time I tried to get a breath salt water filled my lungs.

I was so tired, I just wanted to give in, what was the use? So much had happened to me, and no matter what I do, or try, I continue to be 'hurricane reed', just like poppy said.

I thought of everyone I knew; my mother, father, my brother, Josh, Dash, Noelle, Kiran, Taylor, Constance, Ivy, Upton. I would miss them, but I just couldn't go on, I was just too run down. One last try, then what will be, will be. I took all my strength and all my hope, and screamed.

" Help! Please HELP ME!"

It was no use, the lights of the yacht were just a small yellow dot, there was no way they could hear me. Would they even care? Who knew?, and I was tired of guessing. I closed my eyes, and let myself go. Thinking only good thoughts of my family, friends, and all of the things I had accomplished.

Then the darkness came... __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Chapter 2 ( the best of the best)

There's that smell again, that mix of Clorox, plastic, and death. where did I know it from?

There was that similar 'beep beep beep' . I've heard it before.... but from where?

My head felt like it was full of pudding, all I wanted to do was fall asleep. No. No. I have to figure out where I am. I slowly opened my eyes and a bright light blinded me. Okay, Reed, at lest you know what to expect next time. I opened my eyes again, and saw Noelle and Kiran asleep in in chairs next to my bed, in a hospital room. The hospital!!!! Now I understood, my memories flooded back to me; the salt water, the cold, my last attempt at screaming to save my life.

I looked in front of my bed and saw Dash, and Upton sitting on a small couch, both with their eyes closed. Above their heads was a small dry erase board with little messages from all my friends, most of them consisting of 'get well soon' and 'we love you reed!' with smiley faces next to them. I looked more closely at the medium sized room. It was light blue, and vases filled with flowers were scattered around the room. There was a large window to my left, where Noelle and Kiran were asleep, but it had the curtain closed over it. A sink with a mirror above it was to my right, and when I saw my reflection I gasped. I had huge black and purple bruises on my face, along with what I was guessing was a cut above my right eyebrow. I now noticed that I also had a breathing tube, and a cast around my left arm. How had i managed to get so injured?

"Reed?"

I looked over at the door and couldn't believe who I saw. Josh. God, I had missed him so much.

"W-w-what are you doing here?" I whispered, my voice sounding rough and weak.

"I came as soon as I got the call", he said walking over to my bed, " God, reed, you don't know how much I was worried about you."

He ran his hand through his hair, which was sticking out in every direction. i wanted him to come closer, for him to tell me that he still loved me, and that there was a perfect excuse to as why he hadn't called, texted, or e-mailed me over the break. He didn't, just stood there, looking at me with soft eyes. Ivy, of course, they were probably still together. How could I have let my imagination run away from me again? It only caused me pain, something I really didn't need more of. But before I could respond I heard Noelle wake up. She looked like she never had before. She was wearing jeans and a white t-shirt, which was fine, but what really threw me off was the fact that her eyes were rimmed in red from crying. Her face looked pale and exhausted, and when I meet her eyes they had a mixture of relief and tears.

" Oh, thank god" she sighed, coming over and hugging me, " Do you feel okay? Do you need anything? Don't worry, we got the best of the best doctors working on your recovery. You'll be good as new."

" Move over, it's my turn to hug her!", said Kiran, pushing Noelle to the side. "your probably overwhelming her anyways."

Kiran was surprisingly calmer than Noelle, I hadn't thought that was possible. Noelle was always so sure of herself, and since we hadn't been that close ever since.. the 'incident', I wouldn't have thought she would have been that way. A warm feeling came over me, now I knew for certain that everything was in the past, that she was my best friend no matter what. But that warm feeling didn't last long as I saw my reflection in the mirror.

" Hey", I managed to get out, what happened? how did I end up here? did they catch who pushed me?"

" Well...." Kiran started, looking a little uncomfortable.

" Well nothing, we have plenty of time to talk about that later. The most important thing right now is that you tell us if you feel okay.", Noelle said, quickly regaining her composure.

" I'm fine. well, maybe not completely, but I will be. I just mainly want to know what happened", I said.

I kept looking back and forth from Noelle to Kiran to Josh, who looked like he wanted to run away, reaching a new pale shade each second. I now noticed that Dash and Upton were standing up, looking at me like I was a ghost, something I should have been completely use to by now. Dash smiled at me, but Upton continued to stand there. Why was he here? Shouldn't he be with Poppy, the one he ran after instead of staying with me? I wanted an explanation, and I wanted it now.

"Do you guys mind leaving me and Upton alone for a while? I need to talk to him about something."

Noelle looked unsure but whispered to Kiran, who walked over and slightly pushed a confused looking Josh out the door. Dash followed Josh and Kiran, but Noelle stayed a second to give Upton a look of 'you'd better not make her upset, or there will be serious actions taken'. Good 'ol Noelle looks, got to love 'em when they're not directed to you.

Upton nodded, and she walked out the door. here we go....

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Chapter 3 (You must)

"Why are you here? Where's Poppy, you know?, the girl you went after after we got caught together? I want an explanation, I was about to give you a piece of me that I hadn't given away in a long time, and I have to say, getting caught by Mrs. Ryan and Poppy, then you going after Poppy to console her, really put the cherry on top!" I said, trying to stay strong, but feeling that familiar tightening of my throat, and the burning of my eyes. Not to mention the fact that my voice was still pretty weak sounding all on its own.

" Reed.... you really thought I was going after Poppy? I thought we had already gone through this, I like you, not Poppy." Upton said, looking at me with those Strong blue eyes.

"So why did you leave? Why didn't you tell me it was going to be okay? Didn't you know how much that hurt?" I said, my throat getting tighter and tighter, I didn't know how much longer I could keep the tears in.

" I was going after her to ask her, more like persuade her, to keep her mouth shut about what she saw. I didn't want everyone to know our own personal business.", Upton said " you must believe me about this Reed. I would never try to hurt you, god. If only I had handled it better, maybe you would have never gone out on the deck, you would have been safe..." he said, clearly upset as he made his way over to the couch.

He sat down with a loud plunk, and I could tell he was trying to keep his emotions in tack. Of course he was trying to protect me, why had I been so quick to assume the worst? I remembered the way he had been looking at me all night long, the way he had kissed me with so much love. I pain went through my heart, this wasn't his fault, and I had to make sure he knew it.

" Upton," I said " look at me, please. None of this was your fault. I was just so quick to assume, I wasn't thinking clearly about why you left. ooh Upton, I'm so sorry." I said, feeling the tears run down my face.

Upton got up from where he was sitting and came over to my bed. He very carefully leaned down and kissed me. That kiss said more than could be said, it was perfect. For a moment it even made for get about everything, including Josh.

" I love you, Reed"

" I love you too, Upton", I smiled.

I realized that I did really love him, but there was only one problem. I loved Josh just as much.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


	2. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 ( Who was I?)

After we got finished talking Upton had to leave. Dash followed along with Josh who had to go back to Easton. I hadn't wanted him to go, and when I realized what I had just thought, I felt instantly guilty. Upton had been nothing but a nice and wonderful boyfriend, so why did I still have feeling for Josh?

Currently I was eating cherry jell-o, which still had that crunch of sugar in it. Noelle looked like it was going to jump and attack her perfectly toned butt. I was enjoying it, the hospital food was less than appealing with it's high school cafeteria style to it. We were watching Gossip Girl and commenting on how cute Chase Crawford was.

"Hey Noelle?", I asked.

" Yeah? You need something?"

" No, I was just wondering if you were going to tell me of how i got into the hospital.", It had been eating me up not to ask, and I finally caved.

" Well.... alright. I was sitting at one of the card tables when I heard a commotion. I got Kiran to hold my seat and chip, and went looking to see what was happening. I saw you and Upton sneak away and i was going to make sure you were okay, but I couldn't find you anywhere inside, so I went out onto the deck. That's when I heard you screaming, so I ran inside and told Mrs. Ryan, who told called 911 and told the boat to turn around. When the boat got there, you were already out and into an ambulance.", She told me.

It sent a quick shiver up my spine. Not only the fact that someone would actually want to hurt me, but the fact that I hadn't known any of this.  
It has always freaked me out not to know what was happening with my own body, and this was the ultimate freaky scenario.

"Wow"

" I know, are you okay? You look really pale... I knew you weren't ready for it.", She said.

" I'm fine, just had to.. take it all in", I whispered, hoping my voice wasn't too shaky, "Thanks for telling me. Really, Noelle, I needed to know."

Gossip Girl came back on, and we both quickly turned our attention back to it. I wanted to say something to ease the uncomfortable air that had been brought up, but I kept replaying the story over and over again. Why would anyone want to do such a horrible thing? This was suppose to be 'island Reed' not 'being-threatened-reed'.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Do you want me to come with you?" Noelle asked. She was referring to the fact that I had to go to the police station, and give a report on what I can remember from that night. Everyone had been interviewed by the police, but they needed my part of the story.

"Would you?", I asked, knowing that she would but just wanting that confirmation. "Of course, I'm already there.", she said, smiling.

Ever since the accident things have been back to normal. Today was my first day out of the hospital, which made me happy, and now Noelle was taking me back to her families beach house. We only had 4 more days of vacation time, and Noelle had planned them all out. Mostly spa and salon make-overs, and there were no complaints from me. It was exactly what I needed before going back to school. Another perk was the fact that I had won the room back in billings I had wanted. I felt a little guilty about it, seeing as I was only getting the room because of my 'accident', but I'm sure I'll get over it. I'll just be super nice to Amberly.

"So, you and Dash sure have been seen a lot together", I sing-songed, which I knew made Noelle absolutely nuts.

"Yeah, he's starting to warm-up to me again. Plus that Christmas present didn't hurt his chances at all", She laughed. "I mean after all he did help me recover from all the drama and it would be totally rude of me to just ignore him..."

"I'm so happy for you two, he really loves you, Noelle.", I said. "You can really tell."

" I know. Omigosh I almost forgot, I have a little surprise back at home for you, you're gonna love it."

" Noelle, you really don't have to get me anything. You've done so much for me already, I feel bad that I can't repay you.." I said. Once again I felt like a total charity case.

At lest when I was Billings president I could afford to get her a nice Christmas present, but now... not so much.

"Would you please shut up about that?!? You know that I'm going to continue to buy you things, so why don't you just save me the energy of having to argue with you about it."

I rolled my eyes, but I knew deep down there was nothing I could do about it. To be honest, I was actually really excited about my surprise. Speaking of surprises, Josh had been texting me and calling to check-up on me. It was like everything in the past had been washed away, and it was really nice to be talking to him again.

"Who keeps texting you 24/7? Upton?",Noelle asked with eyebrows raised.

" Nooooo, just Josh. He's been keeping me up on how Ivy is doing."I said, hoping she wouldn't make a big deal about it.

" Oh please. like I buy that b.s. one bit. I see how your face flushes every time your iphone lights up. It looks like some of Upton's player germs have been passed onto you", She smirked.

I just rolled my eyes. After all I was perfectly happy with Upton, he had come to see me every day, always bringing little presents. I was gonna miss him when i got back to Easton. Just a 'summer fling' Reed, remember?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Okay, open your eyes!!!"

I opened my eyes, and there in a black iron cage was a beautiful parakeet. Not at all like the creepy ones that your grandmother buys, you know the ones who bite your finger every time you try to feed them? No this bird was a pretty light blue, with yellow mixed in. It also started to sing the moment we stepped in the room. It was probably one of the greatest presents I had gotten.

"Ohmigod, Noelle!", I squeaked " This is soo awesome, I can't believe it. It's so pretty!

I ran over and gave her the biggest hug ever. I still couldn't believe she had done it, it was so thoughtful. The last thing I would have thought she would have gotten me, seeing as she had hated my last little bird friend.

"No problem. I still can't see why you like them so much, waking you up at the crack of dawn, always singing in that high pitch. I wouldn't be able to handle it. Oh, I also got you some new pajamas, your a big girl now, and boxers and college t-shirts aren't gonna do it. I noticed this while rummaging around trying to make you an overnight bag." ,She smiled.

" Thanks Noelle, really. It means a lot",I said.

" Hurry up and get dressed, we have things to do and people to see. Time is running out you know. Ugh, I can't wait for our salon appointment, my ends are looking horrible!!!",She said, frowning as she held up her hair.

Of course, I didn't see anything but perfection, but who was I to say?


	3. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 ( Jelly Donuts anyone?)

" Please start at the beginning, and tell us everything you can remember", said the redhead police officer.

She had really curly hair, which hid most of her face. Along with the big glasses and a potbelly, you couldn't help but to think that you were in a bad 80's cop movie. I looked over at Noelle through the glass window in the door for reassurance, and then took a deep breath. In and out, just like in yoga.

" Well, I went out onto the deck of the yacht for a breath of fresh air, and as I was leaning over the side of the railing someone took ahold of the necklace I was wearing, trying to choke me. I pushed away and the necklace broke. I was then pushed over the railing, but when I tried to hold onto it, I lost my grip. I never saw who did it.", my voice shook through the whole story, " I was in the water for sometime, but I eventually blacked out... then I was in the hospital."

" Do you know of anyone who would want to harm you? Any enemies that were on the boat that night?" Boy did she open a huge load of memories.

" Well, there is this girl, Poppy. She and I don't get along, and she told me to watch my back. The girl has something seriously wrong with her. There's also Mrs. Ryan, who hates me. I can't see her doing something like that, but I just want to be safe." I said.

" Right, right. I'll be sure to look in on them. We're doing everything we can, but for now I suggest you stay with a group of trusted friends at all times, and always make sure to watch your surroundings", she mumbled, while jotting down notes on a piece of notebook paper. " Thank you for coming in Ms. Brennan, if you remember anything at all contact us, we'll be in-touch soon. Thank you for coming by."

I stood up, feeling my legs go to jelly. Deep breath, in and out. Once I felt steady I walked out to the waiting room where Noelle was sitting waiting for me. She immediately stood up, ready for anything, as usual.

" You okay?", She asked, leading me out of the station and putting on her gigantic D & G sunglasses on.

" Yeah, I am. I just hope this all gets sorted out fast. I mean, who knows who did it......"

I had a strong suspicion, which was Poppy, but Noelle had insisted that Poppy wasn't a killer. I was so sure though, I had never thought that one of my Billings sisters could be a psycho, but look at how that turned out. At lest I was getting out of here soon, away from Poppy and her crazy friends. Hopefully next semester would be a care-free one. Yeah, right. Who was I kidding?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

" Hey you", I said, sneaking up on Upton.

"Hey."

We had agreed to meet this morning on the beach. It was my last day here before going back to Easton, and I kept my whole day free to spend with Upton. He of course looked as hot as ever in only a plain white t-shirt and khaki pants. I was going to miss him when I went back, but I knew from the beginning it was only a 'fling', right? I was hoping I was going to believe that soon. I sat down next to him and ran my fingers through my hair. Noelle had suggested I get my hair cut into layers, along with getting some highlights. The girl knew what she was talking about, it gave my a totally different look.

"Why such the long face?", I asked. Upton was looking off into the sky with a look of total seriousness.

" I'm going to miss you. I don't know how I'll be able to concentrate in school with you on my mind.", He said, smiling at the end.

I was feeling the same way. I had to keep reminding me that it was a 'fling', the fact that I still loved Josh made it a little easier as well.

" I'm gonna miss you too, but I don't think we should spend our last day sad..... what do you want to do?", I asked.

" How about we go to my house?", He said. "No one is home, my dad is off golfing, and my mom is out shopping."

I didn't know what to say, I knew what going to his house entitled and I wasn't sure if I was ready for it. The last time we had gone that far ended up in tragedy. Who knew if ' hurricane Reed' was going to strike again. Then again, I did love him, and I thought of being with him all the time. What was a girl to do?

" Upton, I don't know if we should. I love you, but I don't know if I'm ready to go all the way. I don't want it to go wrong again.", I said, bracing myself for the sigh, the one that every boy does when they realize they aren't going to get any.

" Reed, we don't have to do anything you don't want. We can just watch a movie, or hang out at the pool. I wouldn't want you to do anything you don't feel comfortable with."

I smiled. Upton was so reassuring that I didn't know why I doubted him in the first place. Maybe it's because he had been with so many girls? Or because I still thought he was a player? Or maybe I was just making up excuses so I wouldn't have to miss him so much. It didn't matter, because laying with Upton and watching a movie sounded like the perfect thing to do.

"Okay", I said, " On one condition, we have to get ' Sixteen Candles'."

"Deal.", He said, standing up and reaching his hand out to help me.

I stood up and held onto his hand. I put my head onto his shoulder and we started walking to his car. For once, in a long time, I felt total peace come over me.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

" That's got to be the cutest thing ever!", I said.

We had just gotten done with watching ' Sixteen Candles', and Upton had laughed through the entire thing. In normal boy fashion, he had made fun of every 'mushy gushy' moment in it.

" You know what I think is cute?"

" What?", I asked.

" You."

How cute was he? I kissed him, and soon it was in full make-out mode. Upton put his hands on the small of my back, and slowly made his way under my shirt and to the clasp of my bra. I pushed his hands back down, and he held on to them and pulled away. He looked into my eyes, and I looked away.

" Upton..", I said. I wasn't ready for it, especially when we were in his living room. His parents could come home at any moment. " I'm not sure we should be doing this here. Or now, for that matter."

" What if we just take it slow? You can stop me at any moment, I promise." He looked at me with the most earnest look, I couldn't help but cave in. He had some kind of power over me.

" Okay.", I said. I tried to push the butterflies out of my stomach, tried to calm myself down.

He kissed me softly, then harder and longer this time. All thought seemed to be erased from my mind, and I kissed him back with more intensity. Once again I felt his hand crawl under my shirt and this time he undid my bra. He was so gentle, taking his time, just like he had promised. It was then that I realized that I trulydid love him, and that it wasn't soo scary to think about giving myself to him. I trusted him. I put my hand on his chest, and pushed him off of me.

" Where's your room?", I asked.

" Are you sure? I don't want you to do anything your not ready for.", He said quickly. I knew the response he wanted to hear, and that I wanted to say.

" Upton. Where's your room?"

He smiled, got off the couch and held out his hand. He walked me up the stairs and into his room. He looked at me, I returned the look and pulled him on top of me on his bed. I kissed him and he seemed to get the message. Before I knew it I was in a wrapped in a blanket of warmth and sincere love.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I was walking up the stairs of Noelles' house when my iphone vibrated. I looked at my phone, seeing that I had a new text message. Probably from Upton, I thought. He had just dropped me off, and was probably seeing if I got in alright. The night we spent together had been perfect, in every way.

I opened up the message, and the happy feeling immediately drained out of me.

_' Hey there Hurricane Reed. Hope you liked the little break I had given you. You didn't expect for it to last did you?' _

In typical stalker fashion, the number was blocked.


End file.
